Mother %^&#@&$ Motherboard

I've been offline (I hear cheering) for a a few days because my motherboard on my Dell XPS failed.  No computer = no interweb access.  The pain has been palpable.  I went through all of the stages of loss - denial, anger, bargaining, depression and finally acceptance.

It went like this:

"No way, why can't my PC boot?  This can't be happening to me.  Not now!"

"You stupid fucking bastard.  You're doing this to me on purpose.  You selfish spiteful piece of crap!"

"Okay, let's be reasonable about this.  I'm going to power you up again and this time you can boot up.  Right?"

"I think I am going to cry"

"Well fuck you then!  I'll just have to call Dell support."

And of course I did call Dell's 800 #.  Of course I did not call the right 800 #.  I called the Dell Technical Support toll free #.  Which you would think would offer technical support.  Which it does, but not for the XPS system.  They don't tell you this right away of course.  They ask you a bunch of questions and then tell you they need to transfer you to the XPS support desk.

I am transferred and I answer the exact same questions.  While I am on hold while the tech rep looks up my information I hear the dreaded "click".  I am cut off.  I call the 800# again.  This time it's a 15 minute wait.  I wait.  Caught in the loop of the automated support system (just keep hitting zero until it gives up and transfers you to a person).  Eventually I hear a human voice.  I am transferred to the XPS support desk.  It's a 30 minute wait.

Aaaarrrgggghhhhh.

Eventually I learn that my mother %$&$(&% motherboard is shot and there is nothing I can do.  Engineer is required.

RAmen.